The Fruits of Earth - Part 16
Sunday, February 10, 2019
I don’t know what’s happening to me lately. I am so uneasy all the time. I am always on the edge of crying. Feels like I hurt on the inside. It is a curious pain, something I’ve never experienced before. I cannot really describe the sensation. I am also agitated at nights and sleep badly. It’s not only this cave-room that makes me feel like that, it’s something else, too. Somehow, I grew accustomed of my prison in the days that have passed since I was brought here. I have found a sense of interior peace, especially since I started talking and listening to Broda. It didn’t feel so lonely anymore. So, this new sensation of uneasiness gets on my nerves. I feel like throwing things, making some noise, screaming my anguish to the surrounding walls. At times, these feelings are so overburdening I feel like vomiting.
I experience physical symptoms, too. Sometimes my entire body aches. It is a dull pain that can’t be localized. Also, I feel nauseous all the time. And hungry. The meals they bring us – and to call them meals is long-reaching – are so small and insipid it makes you sick. Not to speak of the thirst. I could drink gallons of water if I could only get them.
The people who bring me food and water are impervious to my complaining. I tried speaking to them through that narrow opening in the door, but they ignored me completely. Unfortunately, Broda can’t help me either. She doesn’t know what’s wrong with me, nor do the other girls. I am all alone in this suffering.
Every day I seem to develop a new symptom. Yesterday it was bloating, today is rashes. My skin is itching all over.
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